Astonishing X-Men #25 Review

Despite the shipping issues that plagued Astonishing X-Men, The Revolution still enjoyed Whedon and Cassaday’s run on this title. I am sad to see Whedon go but happy that Warren Ellis has been tapped to follow Whedon on this title. I have always been a big fan of Ellis and am confident that he will continue Astonishing X-Men’s trend of being a quality read. Let’s go ahead and hit this review for Astonishing X-Men #25.

Creative Team
Writer: Warren Ellis
Artist: Simone Bianchi

Art Rating: 7 Night Girls out of 10
Story Rating: 5 Night Girls out of 10
Overall Rating: 6 Night Girls out of 10

Synopsis: We begin with someone being set on fire. A voice off panel says that the victim deserves it. That the victim is a filthy disgusting fake. We cut to Beast walking around the X-Men’s new headquarters in San Francisco. Hisako approaches Beast and tells him that she needs a new codename. Hisako thinks that “Armor” is a crappy codename and that Wolverine keeps making fun of her codename.

We cut to Scott and Emma waking up in bed together. The two of them are staying at a hotel. Evidently, Emma wears her boots to bed when the two of them have sex. (Sweet! You have to love a woman who does that.) The two lovebirds talk about how Scott has always gotten up at sunrise and how Emma has never gotten up before 12 in the afternoon.

Emma is less than happy having to get up at the crack of dawn. We see the two suit up and hop into their flying car that was donated to them. (Who in the hell donates a super team a flying car?) Scott and Emma take off from the hotel roof and arrive at the X-Men’s new headquarters.

Beast tells Scott and Emma that they are still waiting for Logan. Beast refers to their new headquarters as X-Base Alpha. Hisako mentions that they also need a new name for their headquarter just like she needs a new codename. Emma agrees that Hisako needs a better codename.

Beast comments that Scott looks happier that he has ever seen him. Beast said that Scott’s happiness is making him nervous. Beast says that Scott has a tendency to self-sabotage. Scot then admits to wondering if he is losing his edge. Beast retorts that Scott is the best super hero and that Scott’s sex with Emma only hones his fine tactical edge.

Suddenly, Storm arrives at the headquarters. Beast happily greets Storm. Logan then arrives at the headquarters. Scott asks if Storm is just stopping by to check out the new place. Storm then admits that Black Panther is putting some money into Mutantes Sans Frontieres (MSF). And since the X-Men are now funded by MSF that Black Panther figured that it was practical that Storm spend some time with the field team and get a sense of their current operational methods. Scott retorts that Storm is scoping them out for Black Panther. Storm replies that it was her idea. And that she never realized how guilt-free shopping and constant lovemaking could get so boring. (Evidently, this is an all-sex talk issue.)

Emma then tells Storm that she wants to be clear that she and Storm have never seen eye to eye on anything. And that Emma is sick of old team members denouncing her as an evil witch five minutes after they walk in the door.

Storm responds that since she is now a queen, nobody will argue with her anymore. Storm says that she will drink champagne with Emma and let her insult Storm until the sun goes dark.

Suddenly, the X-Men get a call from the San Francisco Police Department. Storm is surprised to learn that the SFPD love the X-Men and that they are official consultants for the police.

Cyclops then orders the team to dress in their street tactical gear. Scott explains that traditionally costumes say vigilante. And that currently, a costume says you are either a government flunky or an illegal combatant. Scott says that when they help the police that they dress in a way that the police will understand.

We cut to the X-Men arriving at a murder scene. We see the body of the person from the beginning of this issue. The body is on fire and floating in mid-air. Storm puts the fire out. Beast examines the corpse. Beast concludes that the victim is not a mutant and the killer was not a mutant either. However, based on the victim being on fire and hanging in air, it is clear that the killer was a pyrokine. Someone who can make anything burn just by looking at it.

Emma finds a journal near the corpse. Evidently, the victim was tracking his own killer. That the victim was following three men and then settled on “Subject X” who was coming to San Francisco. The victim’s last stop was somewhere called “Tian.”

The victim had all the details of his killer’s plan including that the killer is currently on a plane headed towards Indonesia where he has engaged local service in advance to get him to Chaparanga Beach.

We cut to the X-Men getting back into their X-Plane. Beast then informs his teammates that his tests of the victim show that the victim had three sets of chromosomes like a mutant, except his third set was artificial. That he is a functional triploid and that they do not occur in human nature.

Evidently, someone is trying to create mutants where none could exist due to Scarlet Witch shutting down the X-gene throughout existence. Beast says that this man was operating through the period when there were only 198 mutants.

Beast says that it appears that the killer is also a triploid. Beast says that it is important that they go to Chaparanga Beach.

Hisako asks about Chaparanga Beach. Logan explains that Chaparanga Beach is where alien space ships that crash on Earth are taken and junked. Evidently, not all of the spaceships have been properly scuttled. So, parts are often sold at Chaparanga Beach. And there are usually some ships still capable of launching into space. Logan comments that Chaparanga Beach is one of the five most dangerous placed on earth.

Comments
The Good: Astonishing X-Men #25 was a resoundingly average read. However, there were several positive aspects about this issue. Ellis does pull off all of the requisite work of laying a solid foundation for his opening story arc. Ellis quickly assembles the roster for the team. Ellis then unveils the mission statement for this new version of the X-Men. The reader is then familiarized with the new X-Men headquarters and their different modes of transportation. Ellis also educates the reader to the fact that the X-Men have replaced Xavier’s personal wealth with funding from the Mutantes Sans Frontieres.

Ellis trots out a serviceable main plotline for his opening story arc on Astonishing X-Men. I found the existence of the two triploids to be an interesting concept. The idea of someone attempting to manufacture artificial mutants in the wake of Scarlet Witch shutting off the X-Gene is certainly a plotline that has plenty of potential. Ellis also gives the reader a solid murder mystery which is always a dependable way to kick off a new story arc.

Ellis displays a nice feel for Beast and Emma. I found that these two characters had the best external voices. Ellis delivered a nicely introspective and contemplative Beast as he examined this new beginning for the X-Men. I am a big fan of Emma’s character and am glad that Ellis made her appropriately bitchy without being evil.

Ellis ends Astonishing X-Men #25 with a solid hook ending. The reader learns about someone trying to make artificial mutants. The reader also gets teased with a cool setting with Chaparanga Beach. Any place that is a graveyard for space ships sounds like a fun place to set an adventure.

Simone Bianchi cranks out plenty of nice artwork. I dig Bianchi’s attention to detail and his lush style of art.

The Bad: Astonishing X-Men #25 definitely did not even come remotely close to meeting my high expectations. I enjoyed Whedon’s run on this title and am also a huge fan of Ellis. I figured that there was practically no way that I would not love this issue. Unfortunately, Ellis delivered a decidedly pedestrian read.

Astonishing X-Men #25 was a dull and plodding issue. This just was not that exciting or interesting. This issue was a surprisingly muted and formulaic beginning to Ellis’ run. By the middle of this issue I had to stifle several yawns.

One of the biggest defects of this issue is that the story drug on at a sluggish pace. There was zero action in this issue. And in order to pull off a quality read that has no action scenes, the writer must compensate for that fact by delivering well crafted dialogue and a plot driven story that creates suspense and intrigue in the reader. Unfortunately, Astonishing X-Men #25 had none of that.

Instead, we get a rather talky issue filled with pointless dialogue. Seriously, Ellis has the characters babble on about “night maneuvers” with their lovers, the need for new code-names for Armor, the X-Men’s headquarters and the X-Plane, how Wolverine does not like to shower, the type of shampoo the Beast prefers in order to keep his furry pelt luxurious and tangle free and Emma’s preference for coffee in the morning versus Storm’s desire for green tea.

It was just too much. About halfway through the issue, my eyes began to glaze over and I reverted to skim mode as I read the endless worthless dialogue. I love dialogue heavy issues as much as anyone else, but dialogue has to have a purpose other than taking up panel space.

It also felt like Ellis wasted too many pages on completely unimportant topics. A good example of that was burning three pages just to show the X-Men taking off in their new experimental X-Plane. Much of Astonishing X-Men #25 felt like filler. It seemed that Ellis had about 5 pages of actual story that he had to fluff up in order to stretch it over the course of an entire issue.

A minor quibble that I had with Astonishing X-Men #25 is that it completely ignores Whedon’s run and simply picks up with what we are going to get on Uncanny X-Men #500. It might have been a wise idea to publish Uncanny X-Men #500 first so that Astonishing X-Men #25 does not seem so jarring coming on the heels of Whedon’s run. I also was curious as to what happened to Nightcrawler and Colossus. I know that they also went with Logan to join the team in San Francisco.

As much as I like Bianchi’s style of art, I have to admit that some of the costumes that Bianchi designed were hideous looking. They were way too busy and over-stylized. I also disliked the drab outfits that the team wore when performing their work as consultants to the SFPD. I understand the concept that Ellis was playing with and it makes perfect sense. However, the result is a dreary looking team that reminds me of the TMK Legion when a costume consisted of a dull brown jacket with tons of pockets on it.

I also found the colors on Astonishing X-Men #25 to be way too dark, muted and muddy. The drab and dull colors really hampered Bianchi’s artwork. The murky colors made reading Astonishing X-Men #25 a difficult task as it became arduous trying to decipher what was going on in some of the panels. Cassaday’s art on Astonishing X-Men was much brighter and more vibrant looking.

Overall: Astonishing X-Men #25 was an ordinary read. I cannot say avoid it at all costs, however, I certainly cannot recommend spending your hard earned money on this title. Astonishing X-Men #25 is probably an issue that will only appeal to die-hard X-Men fans.

If you were thinking about hoping aboard Astonishing X-Men since there is a new creative team at the helm of the title, then I would caution you to think again. There are too many other titles offering up more intriguing reads that are more worth your attention and money than what we get in Astonishing X-Men #25.

6 thoughts on “Astonishing X-Men #25 Review

  1. I thought this was a decent start, though it’s certainly rather slow (Ellis is one of the more reliable practioners of the novelistic approach to comics, which isn’t surprising considering that he basically invented it on The Authority).

    Certainly he throws in some interesting ideas, and his expected science-talk (a plausible description of how the X-gene works, the idea of a triple-helix to get around Wanda’s double-helix-oriented spell).

    I really like having Cyclops and Storm on the same team, which is something we haven’t had in a long time.

  2. I admit that I haven’t read the issue so I am just going by your summary, but as a biologist, I have to say WTF??? The whole triploid chromosomes thing for mutants makes no sense whatsoever unless (and it is Ellis here so who knows) mutants are really the offspring of humans and some alien race or something. Here’s why it makes no sense. A mutant per se (in real nature) has a new genetic change, which jives with what we know of Marvel mutants. Polyploids, (which are usually plants though there are some animals that are polyploids) have more than two copies of all their chromosomes. While some polyploid (plants) are actually considered different species (and this may be what Ellis was trying to get at), there are basically two ways that organisms can become polyploid. First, is a duplication of the two sets of chromosomes early in fertilization resulting in a polyploid that is a tetraploid (four sets of chromosomes). The other way is for a species that is already a tetraploid and related species that is a normal diploid (2 chromosomes) to mate resulting a in triploid. So if you follow that, it makes no sense for mutants to be triploid. Tetraploid maybe (although in that case they should all have the same mutation). Basically, there should be no way that an extra set of chromosomes should result in any sort of powers, especially in light of single chromosome duplications (just one, not a whole set of 23) usually results in negative abnormalities.

  3. Only one thing to say after reading AXM #25:

    *YAWN*

    Other thoughts:
    -If Armor wants a new name, no ones using ‘cipher’. Certainly fits her No background, no personality shtick.

    -IslandLiberal is correct. Elis is the best at this style or writing.
    And it still sucks!

    -Technobabble, like small talk, continuity, post-modernist winking and the like has it’s place. You sprinkle it on the story like a spice. You dont try to feed the reader a bowl of it.

    -Chaparanga Beach sounds like one of those too-cool for-school, high-fantasy concepts that fall apart as soon as you think about them. I often complain that high-fantasy DC is becoming to much like the more down-to-earth Marvel. Marvel becoming more like DC is worse. I swear if you open up any X-book in past few years, and you wont be able to tell what galaxy it takes place in.

    -X-Men as CSI. Wow, that’s also really boring. Bring the mutants back already! HOw can there even be a ‘Mutantes Sans Frontieres’ without mutants? If the X-men have decided to base their lives on a tv show they saw, it’s safe to say the book is dead.

  4. Agreed on the review. AXM #25 was downright boring and didn’t live up to the high expectations set by Whedon / Cassaday nor the expectations of someone of Ellis’ pedigree.

    Really found Bianchi’s art too dark and muddied and like static poses instead of actual artwork of living creatures.

  5. Yes, but it was a first issue so chances are that it will improve over time. What I found most frustrating about ASM in the past was that given Whendon’s busy schedule, the book shipped very eratically. I am not sure if this will be an ongoing problem now that Ellis has taken over the writign chores.

Comments are closed.