Supergirl and the Legion of Super-Heroes #17 Review

The Revolution needs to say something first. I have been a die-hard Legion of Super-Heroes fan since I was just a little revolutionary. I have a complete run of issues and take my Legion very seriously. Therefore, the last issue nearly made me sick. Supergirl and The Legion of Super-Heroes #18 makes me even sicker. DC is butchering my beloved Legion of Super-Heroes. Again.

Creative Team
Writer: Mark Waid
Penciler: Barry Kitson
Inker: Mick Gray

Story Rating: 3 Night Girls out of 10.
Art Rating: 9 Night Girls out of 10.
Overall Rating: 4 Night Girls out of 10.

Synopsis: The issue starts with some robots bringing to life their super-robot leader. Their objective is to terminate all human life. Suddenly the SP and the Legion bust onto the scene. And it is a braaawwwl!!! There is some feisty banter between the SP and the Legionnaires. As the Legionnaires are fighting the robots, they notice that the giant super-robot leader is now about to enter the battle. Phantom Girl says that “we are so very outgunned” (Oh wait that must mean that it is time for Supergirl to make the rest of the Legionnaires looks useless!) And, yup, intro Supergirl who talks like a complete and total dumb blonde bimbo. It takes Supergirl ONE PANEL to defeat this robot leader than had the Phantom Girl, Lightning Lad, and Timber Wolf combined “very outgunned.” Supergirl then asks if the Legionnaires need any more help and Timber Wolf responds with the quote of the issue “Leave us some pride!” Exactly. Supergirl is then approached by an SP officer for an autograph.

We then cut to Cosmic Boy meeting with some other Legionnaires to discuss if Supergirl is sane and if she is actually Supergirl. Cosmic Boy mentions that the history tells how Supergirl quickly became a living legend shortly after she appeared on Earth. (What??) Also, that history says that Supergirl just vanished one day and there were no more records of her. Cosmic Boy opines that Supergirl is suffering from a serious amount of mental shock and trauma considering she was “awoken” on Earth and then traveled through time all in a very short period of time. Therefore, Supergirl’s ditzy little pea brain is making her believe that all of this is a dream in order for her to cope with what had happened to her.

We then cut to Supergirl with Shadow Lass and Element Lad saying “this is the coolest dream ever!” (Ohmigod!! Like totally! Maybe we can go shopping and then like, I dunno, paint our toenails together and talk about how hot Justin Timberlake is!!) Suddenly, Supergirl hears something that only she can and zooms off in super speed. She then zooms in and saves some alien from rubble off a building due to an earthquake. She then WHISTLES to stop the earthquake.

She tells the alien, Siess that he caused the earthquake unintentionally because of his superpowers that even he didn’t know about. She then goes into this long explanation that her super-vision tells her that when Siess has indigestion he passes subsonic waves. That is what caused the earthquake. (She is even a better doctor than House!!)

Supergirl then asks what the building that was falling down was supposed to be. Element Lad said it is their new Headquarters prompting Supergirl to mock their building. Ooookay. One of the aliens asks Supergirl if she is joining the Legion because “they would be so lucky to have you.” (Oh god, I’m going to throw up.)

Supergirl says she doesn’t see why she couldn’t be a Legionnaire. (Of course.) Cosmic Boy then explains that to be an official Legionnaire and a part of the core team they must have a Legion flight ring. Unfortunately, they are extremely expensive and they are waiting for Brainiac 5 to make more. So, until then she can only be an honorary member. Light Lass then pulls Cosmic Boy aside and chastises him for making Supergirl an honorary member already. (You go, Light Lass!)

Everyone ignores Siess during this scene. Siess is then approached by a cloaked figure who tells him that the Legion is too busy for those they deem insignificant. The cloaked figure then tells Siess to come with him since he knows a group that will recognize his full potential. (Hmm, Legion of Super-Villains? Or perhaps the Legion of Substitute Heroes?)

We then cut to an unknown male Legionnaire sending information to Light Lass and Invisible Kid at the Legion HQ. This Legionnaire is working undercover as an SP Officer since the Legion thinks that the SP is being infiltrated. And, oh my we have gone at least one page without Supergirl, so Supergirl makes an entrance. Invisible Kid offers Supergirl his Legion flight ring so she can become a full-time member. Light Lass just snaps. She goes off that reality doesn’t just bend to Supergirl because she wants it to. (You go, again, Light Lass!)

Just then Cosmic Boy comes over the video screen and informs Supergirl that the charter members of the Legion have discussed it and they would like to formally invite her to join the Legion. Light Lass looks as unhappy as I feel about the situation!

We then cut to the Dominators who say that the Legion destroyed their missile thinking it was an inert relic. That means that that the technorganic payload has been delivered. The Dominators say that it is about time they return their attention to Earth. That existence is a loop. Time is a circle. Hate is eternal. Then they say “remember the fiffffdee-tu.” (Huh? Like the new title “52”?)

Oh my gosh, wait has it been a WHOLE page WITHOUT Supergirl?? Well, fear not, because we cut right back to Supergirl being made an honorary member of the Legion. Supergirl being the complete bimbo that she says that she guesses they found a ring for her after all. Light Lass then tells Supergirl that as Cosmic Boy told her earlier, there are no more rings so she can’t be a full member, just an honorary member. Light lass finishes her rant with “We do not get everything we want on a whim. What do you have to say to that?” (Oh you go once again, Light Lass!! I love you!! I want you to have my children!!)

Supergirl then says she wishes she had a flight ring. Suddenly, Violet walks up with a package saying it is an express delivery from Brainiac 5. Inside the package is a Flight Ring. Light Lass is about as thrilled as me. Supergirl puts on the ring and we get a big shot of her in the front with the rest of the Legion of Super Afterthoughts in the background.

As the Legionnaires are flying off, Lightning Lad asks Cosmic Boy if Brainiac 5 sending a Legion flight ring was his resignation. Cosmic Boy says no. That Brainiac 5 is still on the ringnet so the ring is not his. That leaves two possibilities: Brainiac 5 had another ring in production before they lost their resources or that he took it off Dream Girl’s corpse. The issue ends with Light Lass hearing that last comment and scowling. (I’m with you, baby.)

The Good: I love Barry Kitson’s art. I hope DC never lets him leave the Legion! His style is perfect for this title. Right now, Kitson’s artwork is the only saving grace to this horrid comic book.

I can only hope that the Dominators’ technorganic payload that was delivered by their missile from the last issue is none other than Supergirl. And then we can watch the Legion discover that this “Supergirl” is just a high tech weapon of the Dominators and then we can watch the Legion kick her ass and defeat the Dominators. And, was the Dominator when he said that existence is a loop, time is a circle and hate is eternal and then said “Remember the fifffffdee-tu” some sort of reference to the upcoming series “52”?

It also seems that we are seeing the genesis of the Legion of Super-Villains with the recruiting of Seiss. That would be interesting. Especially if their first act as a villainous team is to kill Super Britney Spears, I mean, Supergirl.

And I have never been a huge Light Lass fan before, but I absolutely LOVE her now! She is the only person not drinking the kool-aid about Super Plastic Barbie. I would love to see Light Lass with some spiked Kryptonite gauntlets lay the smackdown on Super Plastic Barbie.

Waid is a good writer. And he comes up with some entertaining dialogue. However, even Waid’s writing cannot overcome the Supergirl factor. And that is why this issue scored so low in the writing category.

The Bad: Well, I slapped this less than an impressive issue with a 3 Night Girl out of 10. If this had been an issue of Supergirl’s solo title, wait a minute, she has two solo titles including Supergirl and the Legion of Afterthoughts. Any rate, if this was just a regular Supergirl title I would have given this issue a higher rating. However, since this is SUPPOSED to be the Legion’s comic book (or at least until this plastic Barbie co-opted it) the rating was justly deserved.

Basically, this issue further cements my initial fears that the Legion would become irrelevant with Supergirl around. And they have. Supergirl can do anything. She can stop earthquakes by whistling, hear a cry for help from across the galaxy, defeat an opponent stronger than the entire Legion combined with just one punch, and can move planets just by farting! Wow. This must be what it is like to have God on your team. Not much else for the rest of the members to do.

This issue centered all around the little plastic red S. Supergirl managed to make the rest of the Legion look useless against the robot villain at the beginning of the issue. She continually shows that she is obviously more valuable than the entire Legion combines. And on top of it, she has positively the most irritating and annoying personality in comics. It is like reading Britney Spears meets the Legion of Super-Heroes. I cannot think of a more generic, plastic, and one-dimensional character than Supergirl. And yet, DC just keeps shoving her down our throats on several different titles… Hey, Supergirl can punk out the Titans, the JLA and the Legion combined! Yay!! Ohmigod! She’s so cool!! xoxoxo =)

Until Supergirl leaves this title, I think I’m going to have to drop my favorite title from my pull list. The only way DC will learn their lesson is if the comic book does not sell well. And frankly, I have no desire to read a comic where my favorite characters are reduced to jokes and mere afterthoughts. Timber Wolf said it best: “Leave us some pride!”